Hotel Soap
The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London
Hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters
to the London Sunday Times.
Dear Maid:
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom
since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the 6 unopened
little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another 3 in the
shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
Dear Room 635:
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from
her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you
requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top
of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves
only the 3 bars I left today, since my instructions from the management
is to leave 3 soaps daily.
I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy,
Relief Maid
Dear Maid
I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little
bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening, I found you had
added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going
to be here in the hotel for 2 weeks & have brought my own bath-size
Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They
are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman:
My day off was last Wednesday so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps as
we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your
way on the shelf & put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I
put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove
the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet
for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked
in last Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you
called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service.
I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies
for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints, please contact
me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between
8 a.m. & 5 p.m.
Thank you.
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Miss Carmen:
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business
at 7:45 a.m. and don't get back before 5:30 or 6 p.m. That's the reason
I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked
Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap.
The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today,
since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along
with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days
here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this
to me?
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman:
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room
and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call
extension 1108 between 8 a.m. & 5 p.m.
Thank you,
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Mr. Kensedder:
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room
including my own bath-size Dial. I came in later last night & had to
call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman:
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I
cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are
instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation
will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder,
Assistant Manager
Dear Mrs. Carmen:
Who *&^%%^* left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last
night & found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of
Camay. I want my one *&%(**& bar of bath-size dial. Do you realize
I have 54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please
give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
Dear Mr. Berman:
You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed.
Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so
I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken & the
3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about
the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously, your maid Kathy, did not know I had
returned your soaps, so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays.
I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I
was able to locate some bath-size Ivory, which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
Dear Mrs. Carmen:
Just a short note to bring you up to date on my latest soap inventory.
As of today, I possess:
--On the shelf under medicine cabinet: -18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 &
1 stack of 2.
--On the Kleenex dispenser-11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 & 1 stack of 3.
--On the bedroom dresser-1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size
Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
--Inside the medicine cabinet-14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 & 1 stack of
2.
--In the shower soap dish-6 Camay, very moist.
--On the NE corner of the tub-1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
--On the NW corner of the tub-6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services the room to make sure the stacks are
neatly piled & dusted. Also, please advise her the stacks of more than
4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is
not in use & will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.
One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-size Dial which I am
keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman
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